Faux Real...!
HERE WE GO!)
I want to be a famous author
but blogging and college was all modernity could offer
I want to get an MFA from trendy Swathmore
but my parents dont own a global law firm
I want to do some opium like Samuel Taylor Coleridge
or just do a bunch of chicks like Sartre and Baudelaire did
I want to go to grad school and write a sick dissertation
but Nietzsche told me not to, so I aced the wal mart application
btw ur congressman's a terrorist
your citizens are anal cists
and if you resist my fists and awful fits I'll post nude pics of fat chick feminists from plenty of fish
BUT THATS NOT IT
Rest in peace Plato and Socrates
but they're still killin philosophy in modern Democracies
logophiliac, read William Wordsworth
but studied Keats, so now my words are worth more
Election parties, solidarity, and faith in Barry Obama
vote him in faggots but dont tell your Republican father
Whats it like to go to Harvard
When all the real work is done by French and German students who dont even know about Jordan Farmar
It's cool to talk soccer to prove your cosmopolitan
but dont learn a second language 'coz thats unamerican
I'm an american, I dont have a life, I have a career
And there's nothing more to life than cable news and the blogosphere
(word.)
Shop Urban Outfitters and American Apparel
with credit lines as big as their company payroll
I never knew that writers could afford such clothes lines
These are the only lines I've got
but I say 'em to closed minds
I've got no pop culture, so how the hell am I supposed to become an author?
I guess I'll be l'autre, just not as hot as Taylor Lautner
If I make a rap without a beat--is that poetry?
If I think without a degree--is that philosophy?
If I use special txt effects does that place me in aesthetic hipster sets with hot chix who wear glasses and give extra bathetic sex?
deep breaths
Levinas and Barbara Walters
Could never make a rhyme awesome
Could never write "here lies one whose name is writ in water"
And Analytic philosophy please get these nutz
and dont drag your teeth or expect me to clean up
your face, you twerp journalists
fuck I lost it
I know, this could have been a lot angrier
but last night I watched the Bachelorette with percocet
and went to bed with Vienna, Alley, and a lusty anarchist
who looked just like Courtney Cox Arquette
And her buxom friend from Cougar Town
Ratings are up as long as chicks shirts stay down
I wonder how Helene Cixous feels now?
I want to get a really cool tattoo
of Lyotard, Derrida, and Baudrillard too
And be v. cool w alt chicks in grad school
"But post-structuralism was just a fad dude."
FML, but that's already past too.
