Monday, July 19, 2010

Science of Pop Culture Dictionary

for Flaubert

New York Times Best Seller:  Complete fucking garbage.  See also, "the novel."

New York Times Best Selling Author:  One who cannot write, read by people who cannot read.

American Reader: a contradiction in terms.

America: highly advanced technological society that exists without art, philosophy, and any general sense of meaning; failed experiment in government to 'flee old europe and its problems.'  All that it left behind was everything that made Europe great: namely, philosophy and art.  Managed to successfully slide down Maslow's pyramid into the cultural swamp.

Blogosphere: populated by would be New York Times Best Selling Authors and American "Readers."

George Bush:  Incompetent.  Widely mocked and widely loved.  What modern, progressive Americans like to call a tyrant, fascist, or Hitler, because they have never seen or felt the true misery and annihilatory powers that a true tyrant or Hitler possesses or can cause.

Barry Obama: A New York Times Best Selling Author.

Teleprompter:  Greatest asset (second only to Ignorance) to would be dictators (though it could never help George Bush).  What Napoleon, Caesar, Cataline, Cicero, Plato, Socrates, Shakespeare, Sulla, Pompey, Hannibal, Wellington, and Nietzsche never needed.

The Rap Game:  More important than the novel.

Attractive women:  the one thing Bill Clinton hasn't done.

Katy Perry:  The greatest singer alive.

Ke$ha:  The greatest singer alive.


Too Big To Fail:  Mentality of Hollywood Advertising Executives, that no matter how shitty the movie, if enough money is poured into the adverts, stupid american teenagers will go see it.  Was later co-opted by Wall Street's investment "The Government of the United States of America" in a demand for more money so that it could make even more absurd gambles and not have to pay for them if they go wrong.

Twitter:  The literary capital of the Internet; one only finds the best of literature here.