You Can’t Make a Silk Purse from a Sow’s Ear
By W, O, R, and T
The Flocks News Building—“We are here now in our studio to talk about a pressing issue in journalism these days, something that seems to be causing quite a stir: Mr. Ethics and journalism. Many critics, lead by Mr. Ethics, have issued scathing reports on our ethical standards and today we are going to read between the lines of what these critics are saying, we are going to deconstruct their statements—analyze them up one side and down the other—and come hell or high water we are going to figure out if journalism is up the creek without a paddle, if the critics are green with envy, or maybe if they are just out in left field.
“Joining us today are several well known journalists: W from the N.Y. Slimes, O from the Washington Compost, R, a prolific author whose three most recent books have all appeared on the N.Y. Slimes and Compost best seller lists. And finally, I’m T, and this is Flocks News: We Report It, You Believe It! Before we begin, I just have to say its good to have you all here,” she said.
“It’s a full house, that’s for sure,” said O.
“I’d like to begin with you W. You are an editor and a well-respected writer. What do you think about all the recent criticism?” she said. “Is this Ethics guy going to take the world by storm or is all of this just a tempest in a teapot that’s going to blow over, sooner rather than later?”
“Well…where to begin? Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. You know, I wasn’t born yesterday, and I really think most of the criticism amounts to shots in the dark.” He continued: “I mean, who does this Ethics guy think he is anyway? All I have to say is what goes around comes around and that journalism still has a respected place among the lives of many Americans. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, and Journalism is going to come out of this much stronger I think, for better or for worse,” W said.
“This Ethics guy and people like him are a dime a dozen; today Ethics, tomorrow…well who knows? Ethics will matter to us when pigs fly” said O.
He continued, saying, “I for one am at a loss for words. I mean this Ethics guy has just come out of nowhere. Just absolutely nobody has even heard of him before—at least in our offices. I mean have you ever heard of him before W?”
“Nope, never.”
“What about you R?” said O.
“I have a B.A., J.D., MBA, MFA, and a J-School Degree all from Veritas…”
“Have you had your fill of Veritas R?” said the hostess.
“I’m full of it” said R. “So as I was saying, I’ve never once heard about this Ethics guy. I really never even knew Ethics existed before all this commotion. Much of his criticism seems to me to be just knee-jerk reactions and I think he’s just trying to ride Journalism’s coattails for some publicity to jump-start a career.”
“See that takes the cake! None of us know him!” exclaimed W.
“Just for a second I want to congratulate you on your most recently published books R. Your MFA from Veritas really made you into a great writer. I mean your prose is like music to my ears. A writer of your caliber only comes along once in a blue moon—and the images you paint! They are a sight for sore eyes!” said T.
“I’m flattered” said R. “Before I got my MFA I couldn’t write a sentence to save my life. My writing before and after my MFA is separated by a world of –ance. Funny how often good writing and an MFA go hand in hand.”
The hostess continued, “From the way some people talk about Ethics, you’d think he was the greatest thing since sliced bread, like he was the Messiah or something.”
O said, “Which is something I refuse to believe. All that glitters is not gold—”
“Every rose has its thorn,” said the hostess.
“Exactly. Look, the bottom line is that something stinks; its like Shakespeare says, ‘something is rotten in Denmark.’ something is amiss here; I just can’t put my finger on it. I guess every dog has its day, but all I know is that this Ethics guy has to have an Achilles Heel, he’s just too squeaky clean, and I bet he’s got some skeletons in his closet. So it’s only a matter of time before it all comes crashing down around him,” said O.
“Lets switch gears for a moment. R, what is with these accusations of plagiarism that have been leveled at you and both the Slimes and Compost, that you copied, verbatim, this young girl’s work from her blog, and submitted it to both the Slimes and Compost, both of which, I might add, printed the article? I just can’t believe there is any truth to them, but I want to hear it from your mouth” said the hostess.
“You want it from the horses mouth huh? Well, to begin with, it was a shrewd piece of analysis; well written, well
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thought out—you know—straight to the point… not a long drawn out piece of writing. I mean the whole time I was reading it I was thinking in the back of my mind, ‘Wow, she’s really got something here. She’s a good writer,’” said R.
“I agree with you—she’s sharp as a tack. But that’s neither here nor there; stop trying to dodge the bullet and answer my question: what’s with the plagiarism accusations?”
“Ok! Ok! Stop giving me the third degree! Man, you’re tough as nails!” he said. “I’m afraid if I give an inch you’ll take a mile.”
“Better late than never though, don’t you think?” said the hostess.
“Well now wait just a second. You can’t blame him for not wanting to shoot himself in the foot. I know when I sit down to type an article, my words are flying like a bat outta Hell. Its life in the fast lane baby and you can’t be as slow as molasses and make it in this profession. I don’t check sources, or facts, or any of that nonsense, that stuff is for the birds,” O said.
“You have to be ready at the drop of a hat because the early bird gets the worm,” said W. “And if you can’t take the heat, get outta the kitchen.”
“Tempus fugit” said R.
“Isn’t reporting like that just an accident waiting to happen? Aren’t you all walking on thin ice?” T asked the group.
“Well its risky business, but no pain no gain,” said R.
“Can’t win them all,” said W.
“So how are you doing now that these charges have been made public?” said the hostess.
“I just try to take it one day at a time and try to learn from my mistakes” R said. “I plan to write a book about it, already got a deal set up with another publisher. They think it’s going to sell big.”
“Its good to see you making the most from a difficult situation” T said.
“Well you know what they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty,” said W.
“Ok lets move on. I want to get some of your thoughts on the most devastating war mankind has ever faced—the war in Iraq” the Hostess said. “W, do you think it’s a lost cause? Should we jump ship?”
“Its another Vietnam. We’ve got to get out of there as soon as possible.”
“The war is drawing terrorists like moths to a flame and our troops are dropping like flies! I think we have bitten off more than we can chew and we have to get out of there as fast as lightning” said O.
“I agree,” said R. “This war is a wake up call for the American people: now they can see for themselves that the government has been lying through its teeth. The administration should have looked before it leaped, and it’s time to cut our losses and get out.”
“What do you all think of the Republican Party’s latest attraction and her recent stunts at the Republican debate? She’s making a name for herself isn’t she? O I know you want to take a swing at this one,” said the hostess.
“Well, if she is the conservative cream of the crop, the crème de la crème, then there’s still hope for the Democrats—even with their fiasco. I guess what I think, about both candidates really, is that tomorrow is a new day, and they both need to hit the ground running if either of them is going to stand a chance at becoming the next leader of the free world,” O said.
“I think she’s got two things going for her: one, she is filthy rich; two, her opponent is dirt poor. But because of this latest stunt, every Tom, Dick, and Harry is going to come out of the woodwork to get a piece of her. She has a slim chance, but I don’t think she should throw in the towel just because, politically speaking, she’s a little wet behind the ears” said W.
“And we all saw it coming, saw it coming a mile away. She was a ticking time bomb, just waiting to explode. But conservatives are just going to turn the other cheek, ignore the truth, and hope this whole thing just fades away,” said R.
“Ok, ok give it a rest” said the hostess.
“Whatever floats your boat, but you are just digging your own grave,” said W.
“You reap what you sow,” said O.
“I think they are both treading water, but I’ve heard the Republican has good numbers with the people and can beat any Democrat if she wins the primary. Anyone think she’s toast?” T asked.
“Toast of the town in some parts I’m sure. She threw The Book at him! You Republicans are nutcases! Honestly though, its never wise to put all your eggs in one basket; I don’t think it is the end of the line for her, but she certainly has to watch her step from this point on,” said W.
“Did you see how fast he hit the floor? He dropped like a bag of bricks,” said the hostess. “I say more power to her! It was such a spectacular debate—I will be tuning in for more, that’s for sure.”
“Yea, he dropped like a sack of potatoes. There has been a lot of bad blood between the two though. Again It’s a shame that after all her hard work she finally earned herself a seat at the table, but in lieu of that stunt, I think she will be going the way of the dodo” said O.
“So she’s in for a rude awakening?”
“Certainly is” said O.
“Without a doubt. The writing is on the wall” said W.
“It’s the Democrat’s dream come true. On the one hand it looks like the blind leading the blind if the Republicans choose her, and on the other hand if they leave her out in the cold, then her career is as dead as a doornail, and a major threat to the Democratic party has been K.O.’d” said R.
“I’d like to jump in here if I could, and this may be backtracking a little, but let me just say this: when the going gets tough, the tough get going. This high and mighty ‘Ethics’ can criticize us from the crack of dawn to when the cows come home, or until he’s blue in the face…and…and its on the tip of my tongue; well, a word to the wise: at the end of the day, the public still needs journalism for enlightened discussions and opinions in order to make informed decisions. And I think we’ve clearly demonstrated here—”
“I’m sorry, O, but we gotta run. And that’s all the time we have for today, I guess time flies when you’re having fun. You get the picture folks: it doesn’t look like journalists are going to throw in the towel anytime soon, so this Ethics guy is in for quite an uphill battle. I guess only time will tell what the end result will be,” she said.
Then they all beat their faces to a bloody pulp.
Critic’s Corner
Featured Author: Today we take a look at some of the work of the prolific author, R, whose newest book “Michelangelo’s Curse,” is set to take home one of the very prestigious and coveted Pinhead awards.
Michelangelo’s Curse—A new pioneering and thrilling book by R. A Catholic nun, lost in the library of a law firm, stumbles upon old scrolls that turn out to be research about Michelangelo and his painting in the Sistine Chapel. The librarians there help the nun do more research which leads her to remote, exotic cities like Paris and Venice and even into Eastern Europe to piece together and eventually uncover a sinister plot buried in the Song of Solomon slowly being carried out by occult orders that boast of past members like the Pope, Napoleon, and even members of the Medici family. Overall, it’s a pleasurable blend of mystique, myth, folklore, and fact.
9/11—The magisterial analysis of the most devastating attack ever launched on American soil. The critically acclaimed author eschews
jargonism for clear and cogent argumentation and the book is overflowing with critical insight on the events surrounding 9/11 and its aftermath. This book is a must read for anyone looking to gain a better understanding of 9/11 and will undoubtedly find a place on the bookshelves of all terrorism scholars.
A Better Life Now: 10 Steps to a Better Life—An alternate title might be “A Better Life in 30 Minutes.” In a short yet thorough presentation, R ties together a wide range of information from disparate fields like Brazilian kickboxing, wedding cake design, Superman comic books, and the Kama Sutra to form a unifying, entertaining, and reliable guide to self-improvement in our fast-paced, professionalism driven, modern world.
